Dear Buddy,

I’ve now officially loved you  for 3 years and 8 months; though probably the thought of you my whole life.  I was sitting in a doctors office having my blood pressure taken as I watched a little stick I peed on quickly produce 2 lines.  My heart started racing.  Leaping.  About 4 months later your Daddy and I saw your profile on an ultrasound machine and learned you were a Tee.  I went to Publix the next day, holding my belly and feeling you flutter about knowing my little buddy was with me.  Life has never been the same since. I truly bonded with you that day.

The day you were born was the best day of my life.  You came out after 3 hours of pushing, looking all mishapen and bruised, but through it all, very clearly looked like your daddy.  With loads of blonde hair and big red lips, you took to our chests and nuzzled in.  Your Daddy and I both learned that day what it was like for our hearts to move out of ourselves and into you.  We became parents!

We took turns the night you came home from the hospital staying up with you.  It was 4am and my shift was technically over.  I was leaning back on the couch and you were nestled deep in my chest, passed out from a feeding.  I knew I should go get your Daddy, but couldn’t bear to let you go at that moment.  Your sweet breath, fast heartbeat, the smell of your hair; I knew I’d remember that moment for the rest of my life.  How tired I was, but somehow it didn’t matter.  I still doesn’t.  I became a mother in every sense that night.

On December 11th, 2007 you became a big brother.  You were 18 months old and so gentle and kind (still are).  You and Catcher have been connected ever since you met.  And now you are preparing for your next brother, Oliver, to arrive.  You love to come up to my belly and kiss Oliver–then feel with your hand to check for his heartbeat.  What a sweet big brother you are.

All of your firsts have come too fast, and few of your lasts we’ve been able to catch.  Somewhere along the way you hit the necessary milestones for your first 3 years of life.  I would go back and do every day again in a heartbeat.

I adore you sweet Tee and love you more than you’ll ever really know.

May you know Jesus soon my precious son,

Love Mommy

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