287.  I awoke this morning to a gray day (I generally love gray days) and an elephant on my chest.  It’s been an Attie heart day and no one clued me into the schedule.  It’s simply just there, in big letters, over the day.    And I’ve waited for the darkness.  And the darkness has not come.

The ever-present joy of naming my 4 boys and taking them with me where ever I go yet knowing that even in my finest hour I am not capable of saving them brought relief in the rain today.  I am walking with a heavy heart that may have already broken.  Breaking doesn’t seem so dark anymore, but the path to real life with Jesus.