Deep breath.  Friday, February 18th at 9am.

I am ready.  Ready to learn more about my loved Atticus.  The Thurs night before will be hard.  Friday morning will be hard.  But we are learning what God has always planned for our son.  And for us.  Again, He is big enough for this, the day of and the day after.  The burdens I fear and weight I struggle to carry are not mine to own.  Therefore, the baby steps of learning to trust God with my son continue to be the opportunity of a lifetime.

While we near a week out from some answers, I find my heart steady with sporatic bursting.  It’s all that’s left, the bursting over Attie from soul deep.  I look forward to seeing his profile, his heart, his hands.  He’s moving all the time and is alive and well today.

In the ultrasound we are looking for specific things:

-a four chambered heart free of holes

-a femur bone the proper size for a 30 week old babe in utero

-a well formed skull and brain matter to fill it

-dissolved cysts

We are praying against Trisomy 18 and 21.  We are praying to look up regardless.